In this short, applicable read, author Joel Epstein draws the reader in by focusing on "how to control the egomaniacs in your life". However, about halfway through the book, you realize that he is not talking about other people with ego problems - he is talking about you. Epstein sets up the concept of ego as a ball of energy that everyone has living inside them. Everyone's ego is the same size and how you deal with friction - conflict with others - dictates if the friction will be positive and constructive or negative and destructive. Learning to harness the energy in your ego and direct it in ways that are productive is critical to building effective relationships and driving collaboration with others.
Epstein coins several terms related to ego in the book:
- "Ego Monster" - an Egomaniac who believes the world revolves around them
- "Ego Flare" - negative criticism, demeaning statement, taunting
- "Ego Fire" - an argument or loud disagreement
The key to reducing or eliminating these Ego-issues is to focus on the 10 "Friction Factors". By understanding which friction factors are at play during a clash of egos, you can respond appropriately to the situation in order to direct it towards something positive. The author does a great job of providing real-world examples and draws from his own leadership experience to effectively illustrate each of the 10 Friction Factors.
What I Enjoyed About The Book
The Little Book on Big Ego is a quick read (only 125 pages) that gets to the point and doesn't spend time on fluff. There were many practical takeaways for me from the book including the concept of "Always Know Where the Finish Line Is". This concept recognizes the need of the individual to keep the ultimate goal in mind and not get hung up on issues that don't really effect them getting there.
You Should Read This Book If...
You want some practical suggestions how to diffuse confrontations at work and at home. Epstein's real-life examples frame the concepts presented very well. Nothing in this book is earth shattering, but the method of presentation is helpful. You may even get a few laughs along the way.
